When the Office Becomes a Battleground: EMDR Therapy for Toxic Work Environments
When the Office Becomes a Battleground: EMDR for Toxic Work Environments
Work isn’t supposed to be easy — but it also isn’t supposed to make you question your worth, your safety, or your sanity.
Yet for many high-functioning, capable women, the workplace becomes a battleground. Not just because of demanding tasks or tight deadlines, but because of the environment itself — the culture, the expectations, the subtle and overt messages about who you’re allowed to be.
Toxic work environments don’t always announce themselves. Sometimes, they show up as:
• Constant micromanagement or surveillance
• Chronic overwork with no recognition
• Unclear or shifting expectations
• Exclusion from important conversations
• Microaggressions and coded language you’re expected to ignore
• Leadership that gaslights, punishes feedback, or demands loyalty over honesty
Whether you’re in a corporate office, a school system, a hospital, or a nonprofit, the emotional toll can be devastating — especially when your identity (as a woman, a person of color, a first-gen professional) adds another layer of stress.
The Psychological Cost of a Toxic Workplace
Research has long connected toxic work environments to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. Maslach & Leiter’s work on burnout highlights the role of mismatched values, lack of control, and chronic interpersonal stress. Meanwhile, racial battle fatigue (Smith, 2004) describes the toll of navigating ongoing microaggressions and exclusion in predominantly white institutions.
Symptoms of workplace trauma and burnout might look like:
• Dreading the start of the workday
• Trouble sleeping, or dreaming about work
• Feeling “on edge” or defensive in meetings
• Emotional numbness or disconnection
• Headaches, stomach issues, or chronic tension
• Questioning your competence — even when you’re excelling
You may also notice internal thoughts like:
• “Why can’t I just get over it?”
• “Maybe I’m too sensitive.”
• “If I speak up, I’ll be seen as difficult.”
• “It’s not that bad…right?”
These aren’t personal failures. They’re signs of a system that’s worn you down.
Why It Feels So Personal
Toxic work environments aren’t just “bad vibes” — they reflect deeper structural, cultural, and leadership problems. For women and marginalized professionals, these settings often reinforce long-standing messages about being silent, overperforming, or staying small to survive.
When your nervous system is constantly scanning for danger — disapproval, exclusion, retaliation — it becomes harder to relax, focus, or trust your own voice. Over time, this vigilance becomes automatic. You may even start to believe the problem is you.
Questions to Ask Yourself
If you’re unsure whether your workplace has become toxic, ask yourself:
• Do I feel safe expressing disagreement or setting boundaries?
• Have I been asked to sacrifice my values for “team culture”?
• Do I regularly feel undermined, dismissed, or invisible?
• Am I praised for going above and beyond — but punished when I ask for support?
• Do I feel like I have to prove myself over and over again?
If these resonate, you’re not imagining it — and you’re not alone.
What You Can Do Right Now
1. Start tracking how you feel.
Keep a private log of physical and emotional responses to work situations. This helps you name the stress and notice patterns.
2. Reconnect to your boundaries.
You’re allowed to say no. You’re allowed to have limits. Even if your workplace punishes boundaries, they are still yours to define.
3. Resist gaslighting.
If you’ve been told to “calm down,” “just be a team player,” or that “everyone has it hard,” remind yourself: dismissiveness is a red flag — not a reality check.
4. Consider support outside the system.
Sometimes HR is part of the problem. Therapy provides a confidential space to explore what’s happening without being silenced, judged, or pathologized.
How EMDR Can Help You Unpack Workplace Trauma
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured, evidence-based approach that helps the brain reprocess distressing experiences — including those tied to the workplace. While often associated with “big-T” trauma, EMDR is just as effective for the cumulative emotional wear-and-tear caused by toxic environments.
In our work together, we might explore:
• The belief that your worth is tied to performance
• The fear of speaking up or being seen as “too much”
• Specific moments — like a performance review, a humiliating meeting, or being passed over — that still feel charged
• Childhood dynamics that shaped how you respond to authority or conflict
You won’t have to relive everything.
We’ll start with stabilization — using breathwork, imagery, and grounding tools to help you feel safe in your body. From there, we’ll gently process the stuck material so you can move forward without carrying it all.
You Don’t Have to Stay in Survival Mode
Work should challenge you — not harm you.
If your job is making you sick, anxious, or unsure of your worth, it’s okay to step back, ask questions, and get support.
I offer online EMDR therapy for women navigating burnout, workplace trauma, and toxic job stress in the following states:
Michigan, Missouri, Colorado, South Carolina, and Texas.
You don’t have to keep holding it all together on your own.
Let’s figure out your next step — together.
