7 Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adulthood
Not all childhood trauma is obvious. It isn’t always physical abuse or severe neglect. Sometimes it’s growing up in a home where emotions were unpredictable, where your needs were rarely prioritized, or where you had to become the responsible one far too soon. These experiences shape how we think, feel, and relate to others—often long after childhood has ended.
Many high-functioning women show up in therapy saying things like:
“I don’t really know why I’m here. I had a decent childhood. I just feel anxious all the time.”
But when we dig a little deeper, we often uncover a story of emotional abandonment, unrealistic expectations, or having to suppress parts of themselves to stay connected and safe.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your current struggles might be connected to earlier experiences, here are seven signs that childhood trauma may still be affecting you in adulthood.
1. You Feel Disconnected from Your Emotions
Some people feel everything. Others feel nothing at all. Emotional numbness is often a survival response—especially when feeling became too painful, overwhelming, or unsafe during childhood. When your nervous system learns to shut emotions down, it can be hard to reconnect later.
Signs of emotional disconnection:
Struggling to name or describe what you’re feeling
Feeling emotionally “blank” or distant from your own experiences
Using distractions (work, social media, substances) to avoid inner discomfort
Feeling overwhelmed by strong emotions, then shutting down quickly
You’re not broken—your brain got really good at protecting you. Trauma-informed therapy helps you reconnect with your emotional world at a pace that feels safe and supportive.
2. Setting Boundaries Feels Impossible
If your needs weren’t honored or respected growing up, it may now feel unnatural—or even wrong—to advocate for yourself. You might say “yes” when you mean “no,” overcommit to avoid disappointing others, or feel paralyzed by guilt any time you assert yourself.
You might notice:
Saying yes out of guilt, then feeling resentful
Fear of upsetting others or being seen as selfish
Struggling to protect your time, energy, or emotional space
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re invitations for healthier, more sustainable relationships. They teach others how to love and respect you in the ways that feel right for you.
3. You Overfunction in Every Area of Life
Many trauma survivors become “the responsible one.” If no one else stepped up when you were young, you may have taken on adult roles early. In adulthood, this often shows up as chronic overfunctioning—being the caretaker, the planner, the fixer. You’re constantly doing, rarely resting.
Struggling to ask for help or delegate
Feeling unsafe unless everything is under control
Taking on more than your share at work, at home, or in relationships
Feeling resentful and burnt out but unable to stop
This isn’t a personality flaw—it’s a trauma response rooted in survival. Therapy can help you learn how to share responsibility, rest without guilt, and feel safe being supported.
Did you grow up walking on eggshells, constantly scanning for signs of anger or sadness in others? If so, you may have learned to prioritize other people’s emotions over your own. As an adult, this can feel like being stuck in a pattern of emotional caretaking or codependency.
You might experience:
Feeling deeply unsettled when someone else is upset
Trying to fix or soothe others’ feelings—even when it’s not your job
Losing touch with your own needs while focusing on others
Feeling anxious, drained, or overwhelmed in relationships
Emotional responsibility isn’t the same as emotional connection. Releasing the need to manage everyone else’s inner world allows you to reconnect with your own.
For trauma survivors, conflict often feels dangerous—not just uncomfortable. If you learned that disagreement led to punishment, withdrawal, or chaos, you may now go to great lengths to keep the peace.
Signs of conflict avoidance:
Agreeing to things you don’t want just to avoid tension
Shutting down when others express anger or criticism
Holding in your own feelings until they explode
In therapy, we explore how to tolerate disagreement and discomfort without abandoning yourself in the process. Learning to stay grounded during conflict is an important part of trauma healing.
6. You Feel “Too Much” or “Not Enough” in Relationships
Unresolved childhood trauma often leads to a deep sense of shame—feeling fundamentally flawed, unworthy, or difficult to love. You might fear that your emotions are “too much,” or that you have to work hard to prove your worth.
This can look like:
Needing constant reassurance but struggling to receive it
Shrinking yourself to avoid judgment or rejection
Feeling unlovable, even when others care deeply for you
These beliefs aren’t facts—they’re stories shaped by your earliest relationships. Therapy helps you rewrite those narratives and build self-worth rooted in truth, not survival.
Trauma lives in the nervous system—not just in memory. That’s why you might keep ending up in the same kinds of relationships, jobs, or emotional cycles, even when you “know better.”
You may notice:
Attracting emotionally distant or unpredictable partners
Recreating dynamics where you feel powerless, invisible, or overburdened
Self-sabotaging right when things start to go well
Feeling “stuck” no matter how much insight you gain
Insight is important—but it’s not always enough. Trauma therapy helps you shift these patterns at the nervous system level through approaches like EMDR, parts work, somatic processing, and inner child repair.
You’re Not Broken—You’re Adapted
If these signs resonate, you’re not alone—and you’re not beyond help. These patterns aren’t flaws. They’re brilliant adaptations that once kept you safe. But now, they’re probably getting in the way of the relationships, peace, and self-trust you’re craving.
You deserve support that honors both your survival story and your healing journey.
If you’re ready to explore how childhood trauma might be showing up in your adult life, I offer trauma-informed therapy for women in Michigan, Missouri, Colorado, South Carolina, and Texas. Let’s reconnect you to your emotional self—and help you build the life you deserve. Get started today.
