Books That Help (With a Lot): Therapist Recommended Reads for Growth, Change, and Healing
Books That Help (With a Lot)
April 30
Looking for personal development books that actually make a difference? Whether you’re working through perfectionism, struggling to set boundaries, feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, or healing from trauma, the right book can be a powerful complement to your therapy journey.
As a therapist who works with women navigating self-doubt, burnout, and relational stress, these are the titles I often recommend. They’re accessible, insightful, and grounded in the real-life experiences many of us face—including the emotional impact of marginalization and cultural trauma.
📚 Books for Burnout, Self-Worth & High-Functioning Anxiety
If you’re the one who “has it all together” but feels exhausted underneath, these books are for you. They speak to the experience of emotional overload, high-functioning anxiety, and the quiet pressure to be perfect.
Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
→ Learn how stress builds up in the body—and how to release it before it takes over. Essential for emotionally overextended women.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson
→ A counterintuitive, honest guide to letting go of perfectionism and focusing on what actually matters.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
→ A beautifully written memoir from a therapist about what it means to be human, imperfect, and in need of healing.
How to Be Yourself by Ellen Hendriksen
→ For women who are confident on the outside but self-critical on the inside. Practical tools for managing social anxiety and self-doubt.
Rest is Resistance by Tricia Hersey
→ A radical and deeply needed call to reclaim rest as a form of resistance, especially for Black women and others pushed to constantly produce.
Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price
→ A compassionate challenge to hustle culture and internalized guilt around productivity and worth.
These books speak to the invisible workload many women carry—mentally, emotionally, and physically. They’re especially helpful for clients exploring boundaries, burnout, resentment, and communication challenges in relationships.
Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives and How to Claim Our Power
by Rose Hackman
→ A powerful exploration of emotional labor—what it is, how it disproportionately affects women (especially women of color), and how to name and redistribute this work in both personal and professional relationships.
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men
by Caroline Criado Perez
→ Eye-opening and backed by research, this book shows how systems and expectations often overlook women’s needs—at work, in healthcare, and at home.
Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward
by Gemma Hartley
→ A must-read for anyone feeling exhausted from carrying the emotional weight in their relationships. It offers language for a problem many experience but struggle to name.
Fair Play
by Eve Rodsky
→ A practical and insightful look at how to rebalance domestic labor in heterosexual partnerships. Comes with a system for reassigning tasks and mental load.
All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
by Darcy Lockman
→ Focuses on parenting dynamics but applicable beyond that—this book is about why so many women still carry the burden despite “modern” relationships.
These books explore how we relate to others — from early attachment patterns to the complexities of adult partnerships, conflict, betrayal, intimacy, and repair.
Attached by Amir Levine & Rachel Heller
→ A foundational introduction to attachment theory and how it plays out in adult romantic relationships.
Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson
→ An emotionally focused look at how couples can reconnect through vulnerability and secure attachment.
The State of Affairs by Esther Perel
→ A thoughtful, nonjudgmental exploration of infidelity, trust, and modern love.
Eight Dates by John & Julie Gottman
→ Structured conversations designed to deepen intimacy and connection, backed by decades of research.
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
→ Evidence-based guidance on what makes relationships last, from communication to conflict resolution.
Polysecure by Jessica Fern
→ A unique blend of attachment theory and non-monogamous relationship structures, useful for anyone exploring secure connection outside of traditional models.
Us by Terrence Real
→ Focuses on shifting relationships from power struggles to mutual empowerment, especially relevant for couples navigating gender roles and emotional disconnection.
📚 Books to Support Boundaries, People-Pleasing & Saying No
If you’re constantly putting others first or struggling to say no without guilt, these books can help you shift from people-pleasing to self-respect.
Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
→ Straightforward and empowering. This is the boundary book I recommend most often.
The Disease to Please by Harriet Braiker
→ A foundational read for understanding where people-pleasing starts—and how to stop.
When I Say No, I Feel Guilty by Manuel J. Smith
→ Classic assertiveness training that still holds up. Especially helpful for recovering “nice girls.”
Why Won’t You Apologize? by Harriet Lerner
→ Short and powerful. Ideal if you’re working on forgiveness, setting limits, or letting go of the apology you may never receive.
📚 Books for Identity, Life Transitions & Rediscovering Yourself
Whether you’re in a season of transition or reconnecting with your voice, these titles offer grounded insight, encouragement, and clarity.
Untamed by Glennon Doyle
→ A bold call to break free from expectations and start living on your own terms.
The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McGonigal
→ A science-backed, accessible guide to understanding and strengthening self-control, motivation, and habits in everyday life.
The Wisdom of Your Body by Hillary McBride
→ A deeply compassionate exploration of embodiment, especially after trauma or disconnection.
Transitions by William Bridges
→ A timeless framework for understanding the psychological phases of change.
The Pain We Carry by Natalie Y. Gutiérrez, LMFT
→ A powerful book on trauma and healing specifically written for women of color. Validating and deeply therapeutic.
These resources support adult women (and others) navigating attention, overwhelm, time management, and self-esteem challenges often tied to ADHD. Many clients find these especially helpful alongside therapy or after receiving an ADHD diagnosis.
Delivered from Distraction by Edward M. Hallowell & John J. Ratey
→ A compassionate and informative guide to living well with ADHD, with insights into diagnosis, treatment options, and everyday strategies.
Your Brain’s Not Broken by Tamara Rosier
→ A relatable and empowering book that explains ADHD through the lens of emotional regulation and motivation — especially useful for women and late-diagnosed adults.
Driven to Distraction (Revised) by Edward M. Hallowell & John J. Ratey
→ A foundational ADHD text, offering deep understanding of how ADHD shows up in real life, and practical tips for managing it.
ADHD 2.0 by Edward M. Hallowell & John J. Ratey
→ Explores the neuroscience behind ADHD with hopeful, science-based strategies for thriving.
Women with Attention Deficit Disorder by Sari Solden
→ One of the first books to center women with ADHD, with a focus on shame, masking, and reclaiming identity.
ADD-Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Judith Kolberg & Kathleen Nadeau
→ A realistic, flexible guide to creating systems that work with ADHD brains — not against them.
📚 Books That Explore Trauma and How It Lives in the Body
These titles help you understand how trauma impacts your nervous system, memory, relationships, and sense of self. They’re foundational for trauma therapy, EMDR, or inner healing.
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk
→ A modern classic that explains how trauma shapes the brain and body—and how we heal.
What Happened to You? by Dr. Bruce Perry and Oprah Winfrey
→ A compassionate, neuroscience-based exploration of early trauma and its ripple effects.
The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté
→ Explores how chronic stress and emotional suppression are normalized—and why healing starts with reclaiming our truth.
In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Maté
→ A deeply humanizing look at addiction and its roots in trauma, shame, and disconnection.
Getting Past Your Past by Francine Shapiro
→ An EMDR-based self-help book that offers tools for working with stuck memories and overwhelming emotions.
Final Thoughts: Therapy + Reading = Powerful Support
Reading doesn’t replace therapy—but it can support it in meaningful ways. These books give you tools, validation, and language that you can bring into session. They can also remind you that you’re not alone in what you’re feeling.
You don’t have to finish any of them perfectly. Sometimes just one paragraph is enough.
If you’re exploring topics like boundaries, perfectionism, trauma, or anxiety in your life—and you’re looking for more support—I’m here to help.
I offer therapy for women in Michigan, Missouri, Colorado, South Carolina, and Texas.
Together, we can work on what’s holding you back and help you move toward something better. Reach out today.
