Why Adult Anxiety Often Starts in Childhood — And How EMDR Can Help
Why Adult Anxiety Often Starts in Childhood — And How EMDR Can Help
You don’t always need to remember a dramatic traumatic event to carry the weight of trauma in your body and mind.
Many women come to therapy feeling confused about their anxiety — saying things like, “I had a pretty normal childhood. Why am I so anxious now?”
Anxiety often doesn’t come from one big, obvious incident. Instead, it can grow from years of subtle messages, emotional neglect, or feeling unsafe in small but impactful ways. Our nervous system records those early experiences, shaping how we handle stress, relationships, and emotions as adults.
How Childhood Shapes Adult Anxiety
In childhood, your brain and nervous system develop in relationship to the people around you. When your environment is unpredictable, emotionally cold, or demanding that you “keep it together,” your nervous system adapts by staying on high alert or shutting down.
You might have learned to:
Always be perfect to avoid criticism
Suppress your emotions to keep peace
Constantly monitor others’ moods to avoid rejection
Over time, these survival strategies can turn into adult anxiety — especially high-functioning anxiety, where on the outside you seem fine but inside you’re always bracing for the next stress or threat.
The Nervous System and the Window of Tolerance
The window of tolerance is a concept that describes the zone where your nervous system can handle stress without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down.
Within the window: You feel calm, present, and able to respond flexibly.
Outside the window: You experience hyperarousal (panic, racing thoughts) or hypoarousal (numbness, disconnection).
Childhood experiences of fear, neglect, or emotional invalidation can narrow your window of tolerance. This means you might be pushed outside this zone more easily, leading to emotional overwhelm or withdrawal — even in safe situations.
How EMDR Therapy Supports Healing
Targeting the root experiences that wired your anxiety
Helping your brain reprocess memories without retraumatizing you
Expanding your window of tolerance so you tolerate stress more easily
Building safety, self-trust, and emotional regulation skills
Unlike talk therapy alone, EMDR helps your body and brain “unstick” the anxiety patterns held deep in your nervous system — even if you don’t remember all the details of your childhood.
Why Therapy Is About Understanding, Not Blame
Healing doesn’t mean blaming parents or digging up every memory. It’s about recognizing how your nervous system learned to protect you — and giving it new experiences of safety and connection.
Even if you don’t think you had trauma “bad enough,” growing up needing to suppress anger, sadness, or fear can cause anxiety in adulthood. Women especially are often socialized to hide or minimize these feelings, which can dysregulate the nervous system over time.
If anxiety feels like a constant, exhausting undercurrent, there’s hope. Through EMDR therapy, you can heal the early roots of your anxiety and reclaim calm, confidence, and emotional balance.
I offer EMDR therapy for women in Michigan, Missouri, Colorado, South Carolina, and Texas — specializing in anxiety, perfectionism, emotional suppression, and nervous system regulation.
You don’t have to face anxiety alone or keep coping with overwhelm. Let’s work together to help your nervous system find safety and strength.
